Bishop T.D Jakes Talks Marriage With Steve Harvey (Part Two)


Continued from last week's interview of Steve Harvey With T D Jakes, the Bishop Sheds more light into marital live issues more.
What misconception do men have about marriage? Men can believe that the lovely gal they proposed to is the same woman they married and built a home with. Women go through changes and shift from the sassy girlfriend to stately mother without missing a beat.
What misconception do women have about marriage? Women foolishly believe that they can change a man. Men are basic. What you see is what you get.
Should marriage always be hard work? Should we always have to work at it? Like a garden, marriage requires constant upkeep and maintenance.Tilling the ground may be hard work in the spring, but breaking up the fallow ground allows you to get rid of the accumulating weeds and turn over old soil six to eight inches beneath the surface, so that fresh earth is allowed to come to the top to breathe which enables you to replenish the nutrients depleted in winter so that new vegetables and flowers can flourish. In the summer, only watering is required and fall is harvest time.
Why do silly fights (e.g., the toilet seat) sometimes turn into huge fights? Sometimes small matters mask bigger issues.You have to get to what’s really eating you. Other times different things have different meanings to each partner. For example, an upright toilet seat for a woman may be a sign of disrespect. She may feel that her man doesn’t care if she falls in in the middle of the night. For a man, it may be a matter of convenience or ease of use – the way nature intended.
Why do couples fight about the same things over and over?Why are they so hard to resolve? Experts say that nearly every marriage goes through a power struggle. Sometimes ongoing fights are a sign of that battle for supremacy. Ongoing fights are a signal that the couple has not gotten to the heart of the matter and pulled it up by its root.Marriage expert Harville Hendrix, PhD says that “conflict is growth trying to happen.” Healthy tension is a natural part of the maturation process. Couples need to find healthy ways to resolve those ongoing vexations in order to thrive and grow.
What is your message to newly-weds or young couples? What must they do now in order to have a long successful marriage? To young unmarried couples.You can’t build well with poor material. Too many young people select the wrong partners. We live in an era where we peruse CARFAX® before purchasing a used automobile and submit to a myriad of inspections before buying a home, and yet rush to judgment when selecting a life partner. It makes no sense. Slow down to observe character over time. As scriptures say, “you will know a tree by its fruit.” Look carefully at family dynamics of the  future in laws. How do they relate to one another, treat others? Do they have high emotional intelligence, do they resolve conflicts peaceably?Discover the future partner’s value systemPhilosophy about money, debt to income ratio. Do you agree on children and how to raise them? Are you on the same page spiritually? Do you like the same things, do you have good chemistry – do you like each other? The old carpenters used to say, “measure twice, cut once” to mean make doubly sure before you commit.
Thank you Bishop for being a very wonderful blessing to everyone  both singles and married.

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